Virgos are among the most intelligent folks in the Zodiac, with a high-level for detail management, and sticklers for organization. They are the celestial perfectionists, capable of leveling any conversation with their encyclopedic knowledge of basically all things. So choosing cheese gifts for Virgos isn’t intimidating or anything…
Is it coincidence, or the mysterious inner-workings of the universe, then, that Virgo season perfectly coincides with back-to-school season? Virgos are basically the human embodiment of back-to-school season, with all of its fresh notebooks, meticulous infrastructure, and possibility for actually knowing everything and getting straight As this year.
Here’s some handy Virgo schooling at work. Just when I thought there were no signs left in the Zodiac that make for easy cheese comparisons, along comes Virgo with her “well, actually…” spirit, and bestows the following wisdom on me: Virgo equals virgin, equals pure, equals RAW MILK CHEESE. Thank you, Virgo, for telling me exactly what I needed to hear, (as usual.) With that, here are 5 cheese gifts to bestow on your all-knowing and cheese-loving Virgo friends this year.
Chällerhocker
A double gold medal winner in the 2022 NY International Cheese Competition. If you want to make a whole room of cheesemongers swoon, mention the word “chällerhocker,” (pronounced “holler hawker,”) a Swiss cheese meaning “sitting in the cellar,” that is as hot as anything in the cheese world right now. Walter Rass, the cheesemaker for Kaserei Tufertschwil, demonstrates real Virgo meticulousness in crafting a raw milk, washed rind, semi-firm cheese that basically sings with extremely balanced sweet and savory characteristics. (Seriously, more than one monger at this year’s Cheesemonger Invitational called it out as their favorite.) A surefire way to please a Virgo in your life? Give them the best of the best.
CamemBertha
Here’s the thing: (wow, that felt very Virgo as an intro,) true Camembert is almost impossible to come by in the US. Why? Because true Camembert is meant to be a raw milk cheese, but because it is also a young, bloomy-rind cheese, it doesn’t pass muster for the aging requirements of raw milk cheeses in this country. (60 days.) But leave it to the fine folks at Four Fat Fowl to both come up with a soulful tribute to Camembert in CamemBertha, which honors its namesake’s earthy, vegetal tones, even with a pasteurized milk treatment. The milk may not be virginal, but the cheese is still very Virgo.
Parmigiano Reggiano
Domestic, artisanal cheeses have made great strides in the last couple of decades, but basically nobody else on earth can make this one. Spoken with or without the Italian accent, Parmigiano Reggiano, the real Parmigiano Reggiano accept no substitutes, is probably the most respected cheese the world over for its…well…flawlessness. The rules for PR are strict, no detail too small to meticulously observe, and basically now all of the Virgos in the room are swooning.
Milk Made. A Book About Cheese: How to Choose It, Serve It, and Eat It by Nick Haddow
Did I choose this cheese manual because it was called Milk Made, which suggests “milkmaid,” who is kind of the poster child for virginity, Virgo’s namesake glyph? Yeah, I did. But listen, author and cheesemaker Nick Haddow traveled the world over to get the deepest imaginable understanding of cheese, resulting in this “elegant and comprehensive” cheese guide. Almost more so than any other cheese text, Haddow’s book is a “how to” in everything from cheese making to cheese storage, and Virgos love a good excuse to do something themselves.
Cheese Grotto
In further “if you’re going to do something, do it right,” territory, Virgos are probably the least satisfied in finding shortcut solutions to issues such as “how best to store cheese.” The best way to store cheese is in a bonafide cheese cave, but if that’s not in your budget, try one of cheese-expert Jessica Sennett’s countertop cheese caves, known as a Cheese Grotto, which handles cheese perfectly through temperature, humidity, and airflow control, just as a Virgo would. (Sennett who an authority on cheese storage is a Gemini, I checked. But the device is very Virgo.)